Let's Try This Again [RedDapple Training Thread]

[Heathclaw]

Redfang hated doubt. He hated it with a passion. Being crippled by doubt was a principal sign of weakness, and weakness was unacceptable, in both a deputy and a mentor. That's why he stuck firmly to his decisions, quashing any doubts over whether or not he was doing "the right thing". That included today's decision.

"How are you doing, Dapplepaw? Keeping up?" asked Redfang, turning back to look at his apprentice. Redfang had decided to continue Dapplepaw's training the moment she had been cleared by the medicine cat. He knew that there were cats like Cloudfur who would criticize his decision, but he was only dealing with the situation in the best way that he knew how.

It was best to get Dapplepaw's mind off of things- and he didn't want his apprentice to fall behind, either. Still, he resolved to go easy on her, just this once. "Feeling alright?"

[ivyy]

DAPPLEPAW

Dapplepaw had been less than surprised when Redfang had instructed her to report to training like any other day. Her mentor wasn’t one to allow breaks; Dapplepaw was grateful for the break from the scenes that came to her head. Grateful for a break, however small, from the flashbacks and images that ran through her head twenty-four seven when she was forced to lie still in the medicine cat’s den. So the mottled apprentice walked a tail length behind her mentor, her once warm eyes cold and lifeless as they remained trained on the frozen snow beneath their paws. The slight crunch it made beneath her weight would’ve made Dapplepaw jump and race with glee only nights ago, but now she only shook the freezing white particles from her paws with a slight shiver. She hadn’t minded being pulled out of the medicine cat’s den this morning, her scratches were mostly healed and she was hardly limping anymore as she tried to keep up with Redfang’s decent pace. She took note of his softness, though. He would never have checked in on her so thoroughly before they left if she hadn’t been attacked. He thought she was weak.

He was right. Dapplepaw was broken, she would never be able to venture out of the apprentice den with her tail straight and her head held high like she used to. She would creep out with her tail between her legs, ears flattened, and eyes wide as if ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. This was the way she ran now, shoulders tense and neck bent downward like she didn’t feel the need or even want to see the world around her. It didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered to Dapplepaw; she could be made a warrior tomorrow and it wouldn’t break her shaky, timid stride. If Redfang thought she was weak, good. At least he wouldn’t expect her to make some grand turn around and morph back into the apprentice that leapt in front of a hungry fox to prove herself. Dapplepaw’s train of thought was broken when her mentor spoke up for the first time since they had stepped paw out of camp. ”How are you doing, Dapplepaw? Keeping up? He received only half a nod before a cry from a bird somewhere in the distance made the small apprentice flinch violently and struggle to get back into stride with Redfang.

”Feeling alright?” he asked again, prompting another, less alarming flinch. Every move any tom had made in the general vicinity of Dapplepaw had made her flinch in the past days, the very sight of one making her already crumpled posture shrivel even more drastically. And yet, whenever anyone asked what they could do for her, what would ease her pain, all they received was a soft reply of “I’m fine, just tired.” The one thing that mattered to her still was that she wasn’t a burden. She couldn’t help the way she jerked at the slightest movement or how she would yowl out in terror at her nightmares in the middle of the night; but she would not refuse to do her duty. What had happened to her was… it was terrible. It couldn’t be undone. It left her an incomplete cat; her youth and innocence stolen away by a ThunderClan tom. There was nothing that could be done to fix her, she was missing a crucial part; but by StarClan she wouldn’t let it stop her. She would be a warrior, and she would do it without complaining. She hadn’t deserved a fine life, so why would she deserve special treatment?

”I’m fine, Redfang.”

A snapping twig made Dapplepaw shrink low to the ground in alarm.